New.

And I sit here once more. I never thought I'd write here again. I never thought I could use this again. But seeing Facebook and twitter are overloaded with nosey people getting into each other's business, I decided nobody would probably read this. I feel desperately sad, I don't know exactly where to turn anymore. I'm tired, tired of trying to fix us. I'm tired of being treated like this. I never though we'd end up this way. And just a day before 2 years of celebration. I'd never thought we could speak like this to each other, I really care. And that's the problem, I'm tired of caring, tired of getting hurt by things that come and go. Friendships, family, tired of trusting. Tired of people. The person I thought I could trust, again I was wrong. And I blame only me, for trying so hard to justify everything that you did to hurt me. Trying to justify even this. I don't know what to do anymore. Everything I thought important you threw it away, you make me feel like it's not important anymore. But you know what? It IS. It IS important, and maybe someone will someday appreciate it. Maybe someone else, maybe a new you. But right now, I can't wait for a new you, because a new you can only come if I leave. As long as I'm here, as long as you feel you'll always have me there to treat this way you'll never notice. As long as I keep this up, that someone else, or this "new you" I'm hoping for, will never EVER come.